Being #youngold and Words I Have No Business Using

Do you remember the show Thirtysomething? Me either.

Well, not really. I was really young when the show aired on ABC and even though that was the era of syndication and reruns, I found other shows more interesting. On the few occasions I set eyes on the program, I had just one general impression.

Getting old looks miserable.

Because great shows about being grown (before Friends) focused on how much life changed from one's youth, I only recall how sad and stressed the characters looked. I used to shudder to think what life would be life at thirty...or even forty.

Now at thirty-six years old, I'm proud to be #youngold. Luvvie Ajayi taught me the term - one I take to mean that you have the desire to do life with the energy of someone in their twenties...but know better. Being youngold for me is not giving up on what's new or keeping up with what's in fashion. However, the youngold ear is not up for foolishness. I've been riding the hip-hop wave since I could press play and now...I think trap music is where we may part ways. Clothing, food, even the ever-evolving social media phenomenon is changing. I'm not changing at the same pace.

One way where my youth and maturity intersect is in language. You can't talk to the kids unless you use their words. As a kid, I laughed at my parents confusion at what the young folks had come up with -- both in Florida and in Jamaica. Now I can relate.

Admittedly, there are a few words I use that at my age I have no business using:

- Sick (as a good thing): Not only is the term stupid, but I also already said so on Facebook. I lived through bad being good. I lived through slammin'. I saw wicked take its flight from Kingston, change planes at JFK, and crash-land years late in Sarasota. Based on that, the urban terms shouldn't shock me. But sick is foolishness. Yet, I catch myself calling a football pass sick. I know better. Not doing better yet.

- Lit (including the fire emoji): Okay, see, what had happened was...I picked up calling good things fire in college. See that sandwich they made me? It was fire. That new track? Fire. The paper I wrote? Straight fire. (Better yet, I used the Southern abbreviated version fi' for emphasis.) Lit is...an evolution?

- Read and shade: These, I blame on my co-workers from my call center days. I love diverse environments because we exchange language. Somehow, back when RuPaul was a one-hit wonder, I picked up on these club terms and ran with them. What are they? If you're talking about someone in a terrible way without mentioning them directly, that's shade. When you have the nerve to say it to their face, that's a read. And if you read, you better read them for filth. The reality shows make it worse. From Housewives to Amazing Race to even Mary Mary - knowing shade and reading is indeed fundamental.

Y'all pray for my tongue.

- Shot or Slap: Oh, dancehall. If reggae raised me, dancehall was the other cousin I saw in the summertime. Therefore, the term wicked I know well. Fast forward to the last few years. The terms are even more cutting edge. A party in Jamaica in 2013 wasn't good, it did shot. The patty wasn't delicious. No sah; it did slap wheh! I see the crossover now recently. Black Twitter is starting to say that Beyonce's songs all slap. I should be past it by now...yet...

- Have several seats: This one I'll defend. Existing on social media means that people will do entirely too much with very little. Keyboards are dangerous things and I worry for our nation's collective blood pressure. Worse, I can't bear people who act like experts and comment on things without context, proof, or sources. Bruh, sis, you don't have the range. The Braxtons taught me the response: have a seat. Calm down. Here, have a few more. You have options.

Now there are some terms that I put my foot down and won't take on:

-Throw hands: I tried this one on and it didn't fit. I've never been a violent person, so I guess I also don't have a real context for catching these hands or throwing them. Yet it sounds ridiculous. It sounds like a mannequin malfunction rather than a threat. Whatever happened to Mama Said Knock You Out?

- Cancelled: As I approach middle age, I thought I'd enjoy this one. When someone messes up, especially on social media, they get cancelled by the avalanche of counteraction on the platforms. While I am all for people being accountable for what they say and do -- heck, I have a short list of business that have lost my business this year based on their foolishness -- I also believe in redemption. If I remain active on these platforms, I might say something you don't like. I might even say something that isn't very informed. I believe in free speech and the consequences of that speech. At the same time, let's let people learn and step correct again. I'm not feeling the cancel culture.

- Up: I love Jamaica, but not everything out there is for everybody. Up and its cousin up like 7 crossed my ear these last few years. I get it...but we can do better.

And, please...we're grown people and sometimes people say things with some of the words that we can't say on TV. I've said them too (sorry, Mom.) One thing I learned growing up is that curse words may feel like les mots justes but they're not creative. I've seen what many people can do with a few characters on a computer screen. If we can impress our friends with our digital creativity, y'all can keep it clean while in these streets. Especially with the kids. They're watching us.

But that's just my opinion. I'm proud of being youngold and aging out of some of the foolery for the youth. I'm moving on and I encourage you to do the same. And stay off my lawn.