Now's The Time: Ante Up and Have The Conversation

If you're like me, you've spent countless hours in the last few months grousing about how divided everyone is. Normally, I'd qualify that statement as applying to the American political context, but many countries and regions are going through it too. One thing that's also notable is that complaining about being divided has replaced the actual person-to-person discourse about important issues.

Pause for a second. When's the last time you've had a political discussion face-to-face with someone that didn't agree with you? Better yet, how many of us have given up discussing how we feel about what's going on around us? I've felt it personally. Because of how the divide has sparked dangerous forces and extreme, hateful things, I've stepped back from engaging in these discussions in public. My retreat was to my online platforms. After some exhausting exchanges with people that I love and respected, I gave those up to. What was the point? I wasn't changing minds but I was at risk of giving up relationships with important people. Even if they didn't agree with me, why didn't they even acknowledge my point as I had theirs (when they made sense)?

I miss the days of the domino table. Yes, dominoes again. I've mentioned in previous posts that my parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents solved many issues over the domino table at family gatherings. Most notably, they freely discussed politics. For hours. Loudly. (Well, because Jamaican.)

Not many topics were untouchable and not everyone agreed. But they traded solely on the principle that having it out with trusted people allowed them to think through the important issues beyond headlines and rhetoric. No one came to the table without reading up on it and having information to exchange. Then they either made collective agreements or agreed to disagree. It helped me form (and deconstruct) my political opinions and understand that no one person or institution gets it right all the time.

Fast forward to now. Many of my relatives are far afield so the domino table doesn't get much use. Worse, the circles of discourse are closing. As culture makes this hard turn, we're losing spaces to talk to people rather than at them.

And here comes another election.

During both the 2016 and 2018 election cycles, it wasn't the debates and digital back-and-forth sessions I remember before the elections. It was the "why-didn't-you-tell-me" moments after the election. After the last one I spoke to a close friend of mine about Florida's newest senator. I was surprised to find out she voted for him - mostly because I easily voted for his opponent (the incumbent, who lost.) She had a view of his record based on his newest accomplishments. I told her of some of his skeletons and I could see her face change. She didn't defend him but I could tell it would have affected her decision had I just said something earlier. She trusted me and I was mute to avoid confrontation. How many moments did I miss? What would it have meant?

Most of what I think the online thing is especially virulent is because people have a really visceral reaction to being wrong. That's multiplied by the attack on what's true and false and the role of media bias and the information overload. It compounds into shaking heads, closed browsers, and silence.

Unresolved silence.

I realized a few weeks ago that at some point we have to find a way to talk again. Our opinions are valid; not because they are all important or right, but because they are ours. There are boundaries in civil society and borders we must remember to mind. Yet, as the next election approaches for the United States and there are candidates to select, I hear the thunder in the background.

If this was you and you've silenced yourself, the time has come...

For you to start talking about politics again.

Specifically, it's time for everyone to do the hard work, form the opinions on the officials and topics we've been avoiding and be prepared to speak on it. This is enormously important for those of us who oppose the current Presidential agenda and want to elect someone new. If we want to successfully want to get to a new "who," each and every person needs to get clear about the "why."

Here's my working statement about the leaders I will select in the primary and general election:

Leaders who consider the needs of all will get my vote. While hometown issues and those that affect me directly are a priority to me that I expect to get addressed, I am looking for those whose tents are wide. I will select candidates that believe in equality for all. Believing in candidates that can intelligently speak about how the free market works is just as important as those that can understand that rules and measures in that market can let as many people win as possible. Most of all, candidates that speak of protecting everyone's humanity with a focus on the downtrodden and disenfranchised will get my vote.

I'm working on it, okay?

Now get going on yours. If you're not sure how to start, that's where the conversations come in. When's the last time you posted an article on your social media and asked, "what do you think?" Try it. Be prepared for the whirlwind, then engage with people who actually want to talk about it. I know they're out there. Next, start the conversations with the people you love and trust. Approach with the intention to listen, not convince. We're not there yet. You don't even know who you're voting for! (Even if you think you do, what if your person quits the race? Uh huh. That's what I thought.) Besides, we vote for more than just the big positions in these elections. What are your opinions on the referenda and decisions that will come up? Do you know where to start?

It's going to get messy. Some the scars and triggers from years of bad faith dialogue and the current political climate are going to come back. That's why we have to start now. You're going to piss people off, give them something to think about, then come back to them later before they make up there mind.

And for the love of Pete - elections are not horse races or popularity contests. They are what form our country and turn talk into policy. If you start this summer, you can actually pick the person and positions you believe in before they start melting into the two-party political ooze. If you don't like what's always been, defend it to people who will listen. If enough people agree, that's call a groundswell. Don't you love democracy? If you want your opinion to mean something, bring people along with you.

This is also a shout-out to my third-party friends. Several of you keep the fires burning on the side but it sometimes sounds like you're the guy who sold their Enron shares three days before the scandal hit.

Now's the time to make your case. The two parties are big but we're not going to hear your side if you don't get people on your side. And if we have just two sides in 2020, you can influence those close to you to take on your opinions. Don't get me started on protest voting in 2016.

If you're not sure what to believe or how to form an opinion, this is when you have to do the work.

Let your fingers do the walking. I gave you some places to start last time. Beyond the vast internet, one of the best ways to have an amicable discussion about politics is to start with "where'd you hear that?" Find out where the people you love get their information. Try it out. Then see if it makes sense to you. If it doesn't, keep searching. This is the most important research paper: don't click on the first two links and call it a day.

Finally, if you are still exhausted or disinterested, I hear you. We have so much to do and are swimming in a sea of busy. It would be really tempting to tune it all out and maybe mark a ballot if the lines aren't too long. Consider that you're not engaging in this to be superior to others. You're not doing it just to help your person make it. You're not into politics at all. Remember, your franchise is not your own. It was granted to you by God, guaranteed by those who fought for it, and protected by those we elect. It's full circle. Do it for those who have no voice: those who don't have the right to engage in the discourse, those who need defending, those who are counting on those with a franchise to exercise it. We can't let them down.

Ante up. Time to speak up.